April 2, 2018
Finally: Satan Oh-No apologizes for making other universities look bad
I’ve been hearing rumours of a place called SFU. I don’t know what that means but I’m sure they’re doing their best.
All in 2018 Spoof: Oh-No
April 1, 2018
Oh-No's Twitter Tips: Building your online brand to distance yourself from the crushing horrors of late capitalism
Everyone likes doggos, even destitute students! If you’re feeling fuzzy, tweet a picture of your beautiful dog Fido. The kids will eat that shit up — and the more doggo pics you send out, the more likely people will forget that you caved to alumni donors who threatened to stop their donations after you disinvited a speaker accused of abusing multiple Indigenous children.
April 1, 2018
20 questions with Satan Oh-No
Guest Globe and Mail reporter Andy Roo was kind enough to take time away from quote-tweeting Jardon Porterson to pen a gleefully sycophantic fluff piece on one of the most powerful people in the country.
April 1, 2018
Why the cello actually gets you laid a lot
Just try it one day. Whip out that 200-year-old piece of gnarled, well-fingered wood — ha ha, hey, not that one! You’ll be surprised at the raw, sexual dynamism of the favoured instrument of people whose hands are too meaty for the violin.
April 1, 2018
How to surgically optimize your body for social media
It’s hard to keep up that up over the years of stress and unaddressed faults in your institution, so I’ve compiled a list of procedures to keep you looking tight and Insta-ready!
April 1, 2018
Oh-No’s budget tips for sessional instructors
Ethics and moral principle fly out the window in the funnest way when you’re strapped for cash. Imagine how invaluable you’d be to the students of your course when you shamefully hand over the answer to the only thing that you’ve ever loved.
April 1, 2018
What students really mean when they talk about fall reading break
Unless it’s got the word donor in front of it, things like “mental wellbeing,” “long-overdue” and “no I don’t want to hear another TED Talk” start to sound like complete gibberish.
April 1, 2018
Three bow ties that'll make everyone forget you haven't apologized for residential schools
Getting dressed in the morning for a long day of busking in the TrySkain, schmoozing with donors and paying lip service to institutional racism against Indigenous people at UBC requires a level of versatility that only a bowtie can provide.
April 1, 2018
Oh-No’s favourite things 2018
Here’s our annual list of gifts that Oh-No thinks are just great!
April 1, 2018
Satan Oh-No's book club
“This is a beautiful story for people of all ages with a beautiful moral: if you just hang around long enough, good things will happen to you.”
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Neutral positions on contentious topics
I’m told I should look like the cool president who advocates for affordability. But I also need to keep the donors happy by constantly building things, so I find it’s best to just say we won’t break the law and hope people assume that’s meaningful.
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What’s in Satan Oh-No’s bag?
I miss Cincinnati, and we can’t get Red Vines in Canada. Which is bullshit.
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Why I'm militarizing my photography drone
One of my greatest joys in life is photography. Recently, I’ve been taking more shots with my DJI Mavic Pro Drone to capture the splendour of this gorgeous campus we call home.
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This month's question: What do you like about UBC?
See what UBC's movers and shakers have to say about the university — fully uncensored and honest.
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20 Questions with Satan Oh-no
Guest Globe and Mail reporter Andy Roo was kind enough to take time away from quote-tweeting Jardon Porterson to pen a gleefully sycophantic fluff piece on one of the most powerful people in the country.
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5 mottos I thought were way cooler than "A Place of Mind"
Here are a few mottos that I advocated for before they were all unfairly voted down by the Board of Governors.
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10 facts about yourself to distract from actual questions
My wife, Wendy, is way cooler than me. Did you know she’s a doctor and a lawyer!? I’m barely a doctor.
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How to take an Instagram with a student without them asking about international tuition
Whenever I stroll down Main Mall or attend an event on campus, I am swarmed by students who want only a glimpse, a touch, a handshake with me.
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How to make Marles Chenzies feel heard
We all have to work with people we just don’t see eye to eye with, but making them feel heard before you use the corporate power of the Board of Governors to quash them is essential to a healthy working relationship.
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Oh-No's Twitter Tips: Building your online brand to distance yourself from the crushing realities of late capitalism
Everyone likes doggos, even destitute students! If you’re feeling fuzzy, tweet a picture of your beautiful dog Fido. The kids will eat that shit up — and the more doggo pics you send out, the more likely people will forget that you caved to alumni donors who threatened to stop their donations after you disinvited a speaker accused of abusing multiple Indigenous children.
