“Natalie,
What happens if I get to UBC (I’m a first year) and I hate it. I think I’ll love it but I’m nervous.”
Campus is beautiful, the people are beautiful and you can find your people here. It might take two days or two years, but the people who are meant to be your friends are waiting for you. Be positive. Be happy. UBC is great. You’ll get what you put into it and that includes your positive attitude.
Even if your dorm sucks, you’ll move out in a year. Even if you hate your classes, you can pick new ones next term. Even if you think that hockey games and student pubs are dumb, there are about a million other things on campus that are waiting for you. There’s an almost unlimited supply of people who can be your friend on campus and a massive amount of courses to pique your interest.
Find the part of UBC that makes you feel at home and enjoy it. Every new first year is nervous about the upcoming year. Every. Single. One. You’re not alone. And you should never have to feel like you are.
“Dear Natalie,
My girlfriend and I have been doing long distance all summer. We’re coming back next week and I’m pretty sure she’s going to break up with me. I would really prefer if she didn’t. I think we can work through our issues, but she seems really to give us up and was just waiting out the last few weeks until we were in the same city again. I want to say something but I don’t know if I should. I keep thinking that if I say something and she’s not planning on breaking up with me, then it looks like I’m not as invested as her. Should I say something?”
Hell yeah you should say something. Saying nothing is the worst thing you can do. Here’s a hint, if something feels off in your relationship for you, it probably feels off for them too. Sometimes it’s as simple as just finding your footing again, but other times it’s about something deeper.
If you’re willing to fight for this relationship fight for it now while you’re still in it. Talk to her. Now.
But if worse comes to worst and she does end the relationship and refuses to work on it at all, let her go. I know it’s shitty, every break up sucks, but you can’t fix a broken relationship if one person’s not in it anymore. It’s a new school year, make it one of your best.
“Dear Natalie,
I’m an entering first year and I think I’m interested in joining a sorority. Is that a bad idea?”
I get this question every year. Last year I wrote about it quite a bit and my feelings haven’t really changed. I have made the choice not to be in the Greek system, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. Some people are very pro Greek life, some aren’t. It’s not the letters on your shirt that makes you who you are — it’s you.
Rush. It’s not a life sentence. Tons of people don’t join a sorority after going through recruitment and a ton of people find a home on campus they didn’t know they wanted. If you have even a passing interest in the Greek system, go through recruitment. Don’t make judgements before you rush and don’t base your decision to go through your recruitment based on what you think others will say.
Even with the fraternities, going to their rush events is never going to work against you. If you show up and you find it’s not for you, you literally can just walk away. But if you find it’s just right for you, that’s awesome. Campus is huge and it’s always good to find a community within it — even if it’s not at the Ubyssey!
Need advice? Contact Natalie anonymously at asknatalie@ubyssey.ca or at ubyssey.ca/advice and have your questions answered!