My wife, Wendy, is way cooler than me. Did you know she’s a doctor and a lawyer!? I’m barely a doctor.
My middle name is Jeremy. Jeremy! What kind of frat name is that for an adult man.
Speaking of frats, I was on the National Board of Directors of Alpha Tau Omega.
(Wait, frats are contentious, nevermind — I love Rocky Road ice cream)
I am named after a character in a Japanese folk story who runs a university.
When I blink, I see bowties. When I close my eyes, I see bowties. My nightmares are mostly just bowties and having to answer questions.
My first job was at Burger King and I quit when I found out ketchup wasn’t a drink.
If I could be one fictional character, I’d be Dumbledore, because I love putting students into dangerous situations like, “Should I pay rent or eat this month?”
My motto is “People will forget what you've said and what you've done, but will never forget how you made them feel.” And I FEEL FINE!
I’ve worked at University College London and I still can’t tell you if it’s a university or a college.
From my office in Koerner Library, I can see all. It is my glass, book-shaped fortress. Every morning I gaze upon my broad kingdom and weep. I see a seagull on the clock tower. As it flies away I think about what it would be like to be free like that. Free from this soul-crushing position.
I also don’t know what the difference between ophthalmology and optometry is. But I have a degree in one of them.