The sun is shining (past 4 p.m.!), the calendar says February and you have 17 new recorded lectures on your watch list. That’s right — we’re a month through 2022.
Hard to believe, I know. But while this new year will undoubtedly be better (you know, since apparently COVID doesn't exist any more, according to our friends at the BCCDC), we thought it might be time to reflect on the true highlights of 2021.
We’re talking about those that made their mark on the UBC community and shone a light brighter than our futures in these dark, dark times. You hear their names being whispered in the hallways and woven through every other r/UBC thread. There was copypasta, there was controversy and now there’s another Ubyssey article.
Allow us to present to you our nominees for UBC’s Main Character of 2021.
The Arts Student Centre
The first on our list has to be the most valuable — this beloved symbol of what it means to be an arts student apparently cost us ten million dollars. Lovingly (and with good reason) christened "The Trash Can" by many, the cutting edge architecture of the building embodies, in many ways, what the future may look like for those of us with an arts degree. The 1025-square-metre space is larger than both the ESC and the SSC, so it’s definitely large enough to cater to the 16,000 students and faculty it’s meant for. It’s at least big enough for the undergraduate society that humbly serves these students, which obviously thinks the entire space is intended for its meetings.
The 2.0x Speed Button
A true underdog with a shocking lack of appreciation, the 2.0x speed button has been with us since the early days of March 2020. While time travel might be light years away, the 2.0x speed button makes 14 hours of lecture content a much more doable seven, which is basically the same thing — that’s like three Marvel movies. If only we could take you to class with us come February 7.
Kip the Coyote
A soon-to-be social media influencer and UBC Vancouver icon, Kip has been sighted on campus more often than you see a rabid commuter break into a mad sprint for the R4. So what if coyotes bite? We like to think of him as the childhood pet we never had. Threat to students? Maybe. But friend to all? Yes. As does everything worth talking about nowadays, Kip has an Instagram account now too. Maybe an OnlyFans soon? Only time will tell.
UBC Fashion TikTok
Regularly recording and uploading *her* chosen main characters of UBC, Ana Mishina (@an__mm) has become somewhat of a main character herself. Don’t lie. You’ve walked those halls in your snazziest jeans, or perhaps your super one-of-a-kind Aritzia jacket, hoping to be featured on the one account everyone knows about. You’ve definitely practiced your casual walk in front of the Nest or IKB hoping to *accidentally* be caught on camera.
The Mask People
Final exams in the SRC? Shouldn’t be a problem. Final exams in the SRC with 800 other people who may or may not have COVID? Slight issue. Perhaps one of the more wholesome entries on this list, user u/sasamats and a couple others on Reddit decided to ease some of the stress on those being subjected to the possible life or death conditions at the SRC by handing out N95 masks all over campus. We see you doing God’s work out here.
Spacebar Girl
Girl lost her spacebar on the bus. Took to Reddit. Space bar was found! A modern day Cinderella story: no glass slipper, but did the key fit? This was kind of cute, tbh.
(Yet the question remains: They found a spacebar, but did they find love?)
It’s amazing how the human brain works — some people have the time, inclination and motivation to find a literal lost spacebar. Meanwhile, I can’t find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning.
Starbucks Gift Card Person
This too went down on Reddit. User u/AJazzy69 decided to play Santa (Claus, not Ono) and fuel the caffeine requirements of a few lucky people by hiding Starbucks gift cards around campus. To the people who did find the gift cards, though, can you please let us know how you found the time? And also what courses you’re taking, because clearly mine are more time consuming than they need to be.
The C.S. Rep
Hey man, hope you’re doing okay. Love, your friends at The Ubyssey.
Moving on.
Jaymen and Jayden
Ah, the Jays of UBC Reddit. What kind of list would this be without a shoutout to these recurring legends? Enough said. You guys know who we’re talking about. And if you don’t, maybe it’s your sign to crawl back into your hole and spend that extra hour on Reddit every day. They’re true heroes of the r/UBC community.
UBC Men’s Rugby wins CMURC Championship
A season that opened with a 66-0 win should have an equally epic ending, right? We didn’t even know that was a possible score. Either way, their title as the best team in Canada gives Santa Ono yet another reason to hike up our tuition. We love you guys, though — thank you for giving us bragging rights and a tiny bit of school pride. We didn’t know we needed it until it was there.