With a swipe-based interface, dating apps like Tinder and Bumble mimic social media platforms and allow for a constant stream of validation. This interface essentially “gamifies” dating, according to Goldsmith — making dating apps addictive.
We often connect intimacy with sex, but it doesn’t have to be. The pressure for intimacy to be sexual can create unrealistic and unhealthy expectations in a relationship when you should only do what you feel comfortable with.
I’ve only known him for two months, but it feels like a lifetime. These drives from point A to point B are really the only time we spend as just the two of us, but I feel safe with him in ways that I don’t feel around people who I’ve known 10, 20, 100 times longer.
Although expansive, the internet can also be a deceptive resource. When it comes to the more complicated aspects of sex — such as mature communication, kinks or healing from trauma — it can be helpful to interact with trusted experts and community members.
Communication is an essential part of any kink dynamic. Healthy domination and submission dynamics rely heavily on trust and openness which allow partners to feel comfortable exploring sensations during a scene and to discover each other intimately.
And I realized that we could love each other and have a platonic, intimate friendship. The kind where you can talk nonstop without worrying about making a fool of yourself. The kind you’re willing to put ahead of boyfriends and girlfriends when the other gets their heart broken. The kind people write books and make movies about.
I want to invite you to have an awkward first date with yourself at least once a day. Take five minutes to stop whatever you’re doing and genuinely ask yourself how you feel. Treat it like you’re on a first date with someone you’re really excited to get to know.