As the new year and new semester start, you might find yourself endlessly scrolling through your Twitter feed hoping, praying for some good news. While I can’t promise that anything will get better, I do have a list of three Twitter pages that will make things slightly more bearable while also giving you that UBC content you desperately crave.
Low Stakes
Low Stakes is a Twitter account solely devoted to making fun of everything that is student politics. No one is safe, not even us.
But today's high pt has been @Ubyssey having to apologize when they're moderately edgy; where can i cop that beige sweater tho #AMSElections pic.twitter.com/j6Qwlk0kpE
— Low Stakes (@ubc_lowstakes) March 7, 2017
While most active during AMS election season, Low Stakes is the necessary antidote to what ails you as soon as those candidate posters start littering the campus. They expertly point out the ridiculousness and insanity of each candidate. Much like chestnuts over an open fire, the roasting never stops.
Check out last year’s election coverage for an idea of how scrappy they can get.
I'm sorry, weren't you the guy who said sexual assault and bike theft in the same breath? pic.twitter.com/Q6IxPT3kIf
— Low Stakes (@ubc_lowstakes) March 2, 2017
UBC Goth
A newcomer to the Twittersphere, it has become a consistently great feed. It makes the not-too-illogical jump from a gloomy, rain trodden campus to a Lovecraftian nightmare of higher education.
You have returned to campus, and so has the sound of the footsteps that seem to follow you on your way to class. Walk quickly. Term 2 has found you.
— UBC Goth (@UBCgoth) January 3, 2018
Have you ever gazed at Buchanan tower in the mist and wondered what evils it concealed, or felt the prickle of the paranormal when receiving your grades? If so, UBC Goth knows how you feel and wraps those feelings in an existential, slightly throbbing bow.
You're walking down East Mall late one evening and feel someone watching you. You glance over your shoulder and swear that Buchanan Tower is a little closer than it was before. You walk faster.
— UBC Goth (@UBCgoth) November 27, 2017
UBC Avocado Watch
You’re a millennial, your life moves fast. With a latte in one hand and a smartphone in the other, you don’t have the time to check the NYSE to see if the produce market is bullish or bearish. That’s where UBC Avocado Watch comes in. While not completely a joke, their premise makes me happier than most things.
Safeway - 2 for $3
— UBC Avocado Watch (@UBCAvocadoWatch) November 28, 2017
Save On - $1.99 each (+250 reward points!)
No Frills - 5 for $5
They, presumably using some sort of advanced algorithm, cross reference the price of avocados in all major grocery stores near UBC and post it weekly. They’ll show you if it’s worth it to go to Save-On or Safeway for those delectable, savoury green fruits. Aside from their #AvocadoReports, they keep a steady stream of avocadoxUBC content to keep you interested.