My humble suggestions for new metrics on Ratemyprof

I’ve probably logged more hours on ratemyprofessors.com trying to decide whether to add or drop classes than I have on Canvas actually doing my coursework.

The delayed add/drop deadline was a double-edged sword: more time to decide means more time to delay my decision-making. Often, the prof is one of the biggest deciding factors: No matter how interesting the topic or how requisite the prerequisite, sometimes the lecturer really does make or break the class.

I could maybe (probably not) have saved some time if Rate My Professors would be so kind as to optimize its rating metrics for exactly what I (and likely you!) are looking for.

Tone of voice

At this point, it’s been well established that Zoom classes are glorified podcasts. This has some silver linings: unlike most podcasts, online courses don’t have ads — unless you’re a marketing major, in which case, you knew what you were getting into. UBC lectures also aren’t hosted on a platform that supports anti-vaxxers, which is cool! Still, we deserve to have some upfront information about the most important part of a podcast: the host’s voice.

This isn’t just about whether they sound squeaky or throaty — people can’t change their vocal cords or speech patterns, and The Ubyssey doesn’t judge. No, it’s about energy. I like my history lectures delivered with the gentleness and out-of-pocket drama of a public library Drag Queen Story Hour. Yes, tell me about the War of 1812! Just please do it through theatrical ASMR. And I’m not saying that I demand our overworked profs sing or lip-sync… but if there happens to be one that does, I would like Ratemyprofessor.com to let me know in advance so I can sign up.

Accessibility

Most profs have a little section on their syllabus about what to do if you experience a crisis and need an extension. Sometimes they seem super chill and accommodating! But the people need to know: do their stated policies align with their actual response when a student has to submit work late, or take significant time off because of a disability or an unexpected crisis? That’s something Ratemyprofessor.com should highlight. I’m sorry that there are no jokes in this one!

Secondary Characters

Ratemyprofessor, drop us a line: which lecturers have a cute cat/hot partner/weird bug/goofy kids in their room?

Some days, focusing during Zoom lectures can feel like summiting the Wreck Beach stairs after taking a drunken polar plunge. Physically, you’re cozy in bed listening to someone talk about cell biology. Mentally, you’re shivering with hypothermia and filled with regret. A glimpse of the lecturer’s chihuahua snoozing belly-up in the background can be the difference between engagement and derangement.

Should that matter more than pedagogy? Probably not. But, you know, unprec***nted times.