Hey girlies! I’m so glad you’re here. Welcome back to another Monday — but this isn’t just any Monday. It’s Makeup Monday! And it's also actually a Thursday but who's counting?
That’s right. You may not know what’s going on in your classes, or what classes you're even supposed to go to, but you’ll sure as hell look hot enough to convince one of the smart people who actually studies and, ahem, bought the textbook (insane) to help you cram for those cute lil midterm exams coming on up.
Or, at the very least, someone will finally post about you on UBC crushes.
Let's throwback Thursday to Thanksgiving Monday and get into it!
Curating the vision
We’ll be going for a cozy-girl-fall, definitely-did-not-have-someone’s-sweaty-armpit-in-my-face-on-the-49, college-girl-chic look today. It’s giving light frothy espresso girl academia. It’s giving Wreck Beach sunset risque shy flirtatious. I’m feeling … Ouuuuuu! Yes, a small touch of raccoon, a little bit of i-fell-down-the-nest-stairs-but-in-a-hot-main-character way. Perf.
Assemble your products
Now that we’ve outlined our goals for the look (#lewk), I am dying to get into a step-by-step breakdown of my process.
Today’s tutorial will feature things I scavenged from other students’ tote bag spills, the IKB dumpsters and the lost and found boxes at the front of lecture halls because all make-up girlies know that #resourcefulness is key. I’m all about those life hacks, that DIY action, babes! Think 2014 YouTube makeup challenges but budget-friendly because those Shoppers Drug Mart prices? Ugh, as if!
Here’s a list of everything I found, and what I’ve used it for in today’s tutorial.
Dried up dry-erase marker (shade: washed-out noir)
Use this for a perfect smokey-eye to hide your Monday-on-a-Thursday eyebags, accentuating them in hopes a professor might extend your paper deadline out of pity.
Container of rotting raspberries (shade: one-with-nature pink)
This find is doubly cool because it comes with a slay plastic container which can double as a makeup case for all your finds. Use the raspberries as a natural blush to mimic the flushed cheeks of all the it-girls running from SWNG to BUCH because they thought Thursday classes would be on Thursday this week — can you imagine?
One of those really expensive highlighters (shade: left-on-delivered blue)
Use this for a bright pop of colour on your eyelids! Kill the Monday blues with a bit of Mon-slay blue perfection.
Expired (probably unpaid) parking ticket
Oil blotting papers are one of my favourite beauty products, and parking tickets are basically the same in that they’re also made of paper. Say goodbye to greasy foreheads and stress sweat, and hello to the subtle imprint of a $70 fine on your forehead! Don’t worry, it’ll wear off in a few short weeks!
Half-empty Starbucks coffee
Abandoning a $7 latte is a criminal activity. But this is a win for us! Starbucks leftovers can double as both an amazing bronzer and, if there are any grounds left in there, an amazing lip scrub!
Revel in your quirkiness and bask in your superiority over other girls who decided to buy real products. Don’t let the burning rash and temporary blindness you’re experiencing bring you down — you look incredible!
Thanks for tuning in to this Monday’s thrifty make-up tutorial. I’ll see you next Thursday for another installment of this series containing this Monday’s content.