Imagine Day clubs be imagining they’ll ever see me again

There are two types of Imagine Day goers: the starry-eyed first years forming a love-at-first-sight style connection with a club dedicated to an obscure niche they’ve been obsessed with since elementary school and those of us who attend with nought but one clandestine mission — to gather free stuff like the loot goblins we are. 

Those in the former group need not read on. I hope you have already started your journey towards “genuine interpersonal connections”, “future career prospects” and “developing a functional machine to clone Taylor Swift so she can perform at UBC.” The rest of us have been busy looting and pillaging, and it is time to share my haul.

But first, some personal background.

Wolverine: Origins (except it’s about becoming a loot goblin)

I stumbled upon this time-honoured tradition in the heat of the moment. It was first year, I was wandering the streets of Main Mall like everyone else, when I saw it: A little booth with a strange box that stood out from the rest. They were giving out some little trinkety thing. It was a 3D-printed cairn replica. It has been in my backpack for four years now. 

Feast your eyes on my tiny prize:

25¢ (CAD) for scale.
25¢ (CAD) for scale. Harry Sadleir / The Ubyssey

I hope they’ve had a good four years. They haven’t seen me since. It would have been downhill from there had our relationship continued. Instead I did what any reasonable person would do and continued down the line of booths. My eyes scanned for stickers, little candies and trinkety guys. My inner loot goblin won, and now it comes out again every year to take advantage of Fantasy Foursquare club’s desperation to get more than three members (to complete the game of foursquare).

This year’s loot

  • Six identical single-mouthful M&M bags from six different locations. Put them together and that’s like one regular sized bag — basically a meal.
  • Spun a big wheel with a grand prize of a $5 gift card. Won some pocket lint instead, but the thrill was prize enough.
  • Joined 37 mailing lists on a burner email so I can check in when I’m feeling parasocial.
  • Two oranges, which is not a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice. Appreciated the healthy options as a break from the sugar bricks on offer elsewhere.
  • 14 blank smiles and nods at boothers while pretending to scan a QR code. I was actually just taking pictures of the QR codes to print out and put up as decoration in my hoard.

The Off Season 

After a successful Imagine Day, it is time to retreat with my winnings to The Loot Cave (trademark pending). The Candy Wall (trademark pending) will grow two inches and Used Gift Card Shrine (trademark unfortunately rejected) will gain several offerings. Now I can live in peace staring at my winnings as I enter a deep sugar-induced hibernation until next year’s Imagine Day.