I’m sure you’ve seen it. It kind of looks like … a bent fork with two prongs and no handle? Or an innovative take on a wall hook? Maybe a pair of pants for a giant two-dimensional person — in need of some ironing?
We may never know what it is exactly, but here are some things you can do with the big yellow thing on University Boulevard.
Incline pushups
If you, like me, can’t do a single pushup, the big yellow thing on University Boulevard is a great place to start training. The shorter part of it is the perfect angle for incline pushups. Once you can do a whole bunch of those, you can try a regular one — and then go back to doing incline push ups when you realize you’re still not strong enough.
Who needs a gym membership when the big yellow thing (on University Boulevard) is free? Cold yellow steel is very motivating.
Reminisce
Don’t you long to return to the good ol’ days? Back to when school didn’t matter, inflation wasn’t real and hanging out with your friends at the park was a regular thing? Back to when time couldn’t pass in a way that truly affected you? Reminiscing, it feels like every one of those days was warm and yellow-tinted. Yellow, like the big yellow thing on University Boulevard.
Try to relive the memories
The big yellow thing on University Boulevard is actually a great playground structure, you convince yourself. Young adults can play too!
Try racing around its tall prongs with a friend. Attempt a wall-run on the shorter bit and realize that it’s harder than it seems. Think about how unfair it is that only children get to have fun. They should build more adult playgrounds.
See it for its true self
Did you know the big yellow thing on University Boulevard has a name? It’s called Cumbria, and it’s 56 years old. Prior to its life at UBC, Cumbria was exhibited near Toronto City Hall, and then in New York! It was subsequently neglected near a gas station for 24 years (slight downgrade there). I don’t know how one would get this information looking at it, but the moral is that even the biggest, brightest, and most metallic yellow things can have dark pasts.
(Don’t) skateboard on it
Skating looks fun. Or at least, everyone who skates looks like they’re having fun. Don’t Cumbria’s smooth surfaces make you want to buy a pair of Vans and attempt some ollies?
Look how shiny and skatable it is! Even “The artist, __bert Murray, asks that you please ____ skateboard on the artwork as it damages the surface.” bert seems to be a fan of skate truck patina on smooth egg-yolk yellow. Very avant-garde. Wait, that can’t be right. The letters on the plaque have been scratched off to completely change the artist’s message! Who’d have thought.
Have a sleepover
After completing those first five tasks, I’m sure that you and Cumbria will be pretty close. Friendships are built on understanding, after all. But we all know that the true indicator of a good friendship is sleepovers! So bring your blanket and pillow, and don’t forget the snacks. If it’s raining, you could probably sleep under one of Cumbria’s bent surfaces. It’s more comfortable than a Totem Park bed, and cheaper too!
I hope this list helps anyone looking to discover more fun things to do around campus, or, more specifically, one big smooth and yellow part of campus. You don’t need to talk to other people. Just hang out with the art installations!