Been having trouble deciding on a last-minute Halloween costume? No worries, The Ubyssey and interfaculty factionalism have your back! Here are some ideas for a faculty-specific costume that will have people at your party asking, “Why?” And if you're wondering why your faculty isn't on here, we've got some bad news for you.
Arts: Sigmund Freud
To all my psych bros, we hear you. It is NOT easy to write three essays while also doing 300+ page readings each week. But if you’ve been a disappointment to your family by studying arts, it’s time to make the faculty proud by repping one of the most brilliant (and problematic) minds of the field. I mean, where would the narcissists among us be without knowing about the ego, right? To curate this look, all you need is a 19th-century peacoat, a cigar, a sick beard and a (un)healthy set of mommy issues — none of which should be that hard for you to procure.
Science: A microscope
Feeling funky, visionary and extra observant? No better way to honour the scariest of all spookies, germs, than coming dressed as a super sleuthing microscope! You can probably dig up big enough lenses from the Dollar Store on campus (okay but really is it even a Dollar Store though?) and fashion the body out of some well-worn cardboard stashed behind the Mercante trash can. Beware, you might have to fight a raccoon for these materials, but that’s what STEM is all about — fighting other underfunded intellectuals for funding and equipment.
Sauder: (A?) Bitcoin
What screams emotional volatility, fragile masculinity and straight up douche-ness more than cryptocurrency? You got it: Sauder kids. So this outfit feels like a match made in heaven. Of course, you can also go as Dogecoin, Ethereum or straight up just the stock market. Whatever you’re most invested in, baby. Scary or not, this outfit will definitely make you a major talking point at any frat-bro-affiliated party this weekend!
Engineering: Blue Origin rocket
Aside from (supposedly) having big dick energy, engineering kids are also rather sadly known to have other unlikeable traits, such as always complaining about their course load and how they’re better than anyone else. Remind you of someone? Of course, the one and only Jeffrey Bezos! If you thought of him too, Bo Burnham and the rest of TikTok is telling you, “you can do it!”How better to pay homage to Bezos’s devastatingly shiny bald head and even shinier ego than by dressing up as Blue Origin? All you need is a mildly-phallic head (or a wig or something), red/orange-ish shoes and a hard metal body. I mean, y’all are in engineering, you’ll probably just build the rocket yourself.
Land and Food Systems: A board explaining your major
Sadly, our LFS friends seem perpetually doomed to a nightmarish fate of having to constantly explain their major. For a night, though, it’ll be easy to make friends without stumbling over explaining what LFS actually is. The costume is both personal and professional, and will help you to make great LinkedIn connections at any party this weekend. Do people in LFS have LinkedIn? You still have souls, so it’s unlikely. All you need is a torso-sized whiteboard (don’t go to the bookstore; they're expensive there) and a plant to hold!