My time at UBC has been something I’ll never forget. I’ve done some great things, made some great friends and created some great memories. But like leaves on an autumn tree, I’ve reached my time to fly away from my humble branch and say goodbye.
…What? Am I graduating? Oh, God no — this is my first year. I just don’t feel like doing this seven more times.
I mean, going to school here was kind of fun, if I squint really hard. But I think it’s good to end on a high (mid) note, you know? I’m not ready to learn directions to five new buildings in January when I just found the shortcuts to my current classes earlier this week.
Of course there are things I’ll miss: Going to IKB to study with my friends, but instead actually spending four hours looking at Pinterest and vandalizing the whiteboards with cartoon drawings of ourselves studying and/or marrying Josh Hutcherson. Or going to the Nest to do homework alone, but instead spending 30 minutes deciding if I should wait in line at Blue Chip for an iced matcha latte with lavender syrup and lose my study spot and have to walk straight back to my room (the answer is always yes).
Leaving school is the solution to all my problems. No more walking around for half an hour trying to find a place to study only to realize that every building is closed on Sundays. No more going to Mercante and spilling half my tortellini on the bench (this happened twice). No more writing articles like this at 3:30 a.m. the day they’re due because I spent all my spare time watching TikTok edits of Jesse St. James from Glee.
Editor’s note: Now that you’re not coming back I expect everything four weeks before I assign it. Thx.
I think that university is for some people, and I am simply not one of them. Major, minor, double major, major with honors, double major with honors. It’s like ordering at Starbucks — the words have no meaning to me. Brain cells are currency, and I am in massive debt.
All things come to an end. This is just the natural ending to an epic four month adventure — at least that’s what UBC’s marketing says I think. I laughed, cried, nearly lost my life to freshman flu, cried some more, vandalized the engineering cairn, got sick again, stole seven jalapeno poppers from the dining hall and finished it off with another long sob just for fun.
Goodbye and goodnight, everyone. I’ll cherish the time we spent together. (Now imagine Don't You (Forget About Me) playing as I walk off into the ocean or something.)
Update: I’ve just spoken to a lifestyle consultant (my mom) and have been urged not to waste the time, money and hard work I’ve put into this academic journey (she says I can’t drop out). So have a nice break, UBC. I guess I’ll see you next semester.