Among all the disparaged faculties at UBC, one in particular stands out — a misunderstood area that perseveres despite all the relentless, horrific, evil teasing it receives: Sauder School of Business.
The community that faces the most prejudice at UBC besides frat boys, Sauder remains an enigma to most students. What goes on within those shiny walls? Whose father paid for them? To gain answers to these questions, The Ubyssey has obtained this real life account of a Sauder student. Read at your own risk.
Braddox Dawgman, a fifth-year commerce student and son of third-generation oil baron Brichael Dawgman, wakes up at 4:01 a.m. every day, because he knows 401k is some sort of financial term. The frat house is quiet and the floors are only a little sticky from the previous night, making it the perfect time to start the day.
“Efficiency, economy … ecology,” Dawgman said when asked what values define him. “I would say those three are pretty important.” When asked to elaborate, he said, “No thanks,” before searching “motivational alpha quotes” on TikTok and listening to them at full volume — a task he said he completes every fifteen minutes.
The Sauder student always lets their values soak into everything they do, like a sponge in a dirty puddle. Efficiency, economy and ecology; what is the best way to achieve all three of these words? You guessed it — biking.
“I don’t know how to ride a bike, so I decided to buy a bike because I thought it would help me with self-improvement. And I’m always striving for self-improvement — it’s another one of my values. But it didn't start with an ‘e,’ so I left it out,” Dawgman said.
Dawgman said that it’s important to put effort into your goals every day. Currently, he walks to class with the bike between his legs, visualising what it will be like when he finally learns how to ride it.
“You can’t jump in right away. Gotta let it build, and that starts up here,” he said, pointing at his gravity-defying hairdo. “Only adds an extra 40 minutes to the daily commute. Worth every second.”
After class, Dawgman finishes his homework for the week: three colouring pages and a crayon drawing of a briefcase. He then studies for his MATH 100 midterm, which consists of typing in 80085 into a calculator and wheezing before clearing it and doing it again, but backwards and upside down. The work can be rigorous, unlike what most other faculties believe.
“Last week there was a pretty tough word search. I almost couldn’t finish, but I looked at some more alpha TikToks and managed to get through it,” said Dawgman. “It will all be worthwhile when my dad makes me CEO of Oil Dawg 100% Unrefined Ground Oil LLC.”
When the day is done, Dawgman walks down to Main Mall each night to practice his biking skills. He said he has finally learned to sit on the bike without falling over, and he even pedalled the distance from Koerner to Triple O’s last week, only breaking two bones in the process.
However, Dawgman is still privy to hardship. What’s important to him is that he keeps persevering, as all of us should.
“Last night I couldn't brake in time, and I biked into the fountain. The front tire popped, so I’m waiting for that to get fixed. But right after, I’ll be right back on that hashtag [#]grindset.” He somehow managed to pronounce the # sign.
Dawgman shows us that Sauder is merely another faculty of students trying to get by, just like regular, human students. At the end of the day, while we’re busy burying our heads in textbooks or writing weekly five-page papers, Sauder students are also hard at work doing a word search or whatever, and that’s important too I guess.