Best ways to beat — or buy into

Are you one of those Vancouverites who finds the sun to be a bit of a jerk and secretly enjoys the cold? When you look at the forecast and see it’s going to be over 25°C for the next week, do you immediately start planning your trip to the Arctic? Well you are not alone; I too despise the summer heat and am constantly looking for activities that don’t involve tan lines or allergies.

Here is a list of places to visit and things to do around Vancouver to beat the heat — or maybe even embrace it if that is more your vibe.

Escape Rooms

Where to go: Exit Canada on West Broadway or Locked Canada on Kingsway

What better way to escape the heat than in an escape room? You and your friends must solve a series of puzzles and riddles within a limited amount of time — if you fail you’re stuck there forever, or at least until someone from their staff lets you out. Choose your group wisely by using what I call the Inception test: if they didn’t understand the film Inception then toss them aside because they will only disappoint you at this activity.

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Hot Yoga

Where to go: YYoga or Semperviva Yoga Studios in Kitsilano, or The Hot Box Yoga in Wesbrook Village

Become immune to the heat with hot yoga. After a couple weeks, you’ll be rocking a parka complaining that it’s not hot enough outside. Sure, you will have zero feeling in your groins by the end of each class but you will also have developed the loosest hips on campus. Get out that Twister mat and you can confidently bet your life savings that you’ll be the last one standing.

Climbing

Where to go: The Hive Bouldering Gym in North Vancouver

If you want to get jacked and have a grand time, go check out The Hive — it’s a place to hang out, meet others, listen to great music and climb. Don’t be intimidated: The Hive is open to all levels. I implore you to try it — what’s the worst thing that can happen? You could either have the greatest time of your life or end up like James Franco’s character in 127 Hours.

Get Naked

Where to go: Wreck Beach right here on campus or Crescent Rock Beach in South Surrey

Sometimes you just have to embrace the heat and your weird body. Let go of all your stress and bare it all at the nearest nude beach. Sure you may be fully naked and awkwardly run into that uncle you haven’t seen in ages, but on the plus side what a great reason to never talk to him ever again.

An Indoor Beach

Where to go: 6Pack Indoor Beach in Richmond

Let’s face it, outdoor beaches are overrated: it’s just a bunch of random people sitting in sand where the only buried treasure you’ll find are old crusty bandages. Go enjoy an air-conditioned beach and do some archery or play tag, soccer, darts and beach volleyball at this indoor beach facility. Bandages not included.

First online July 1, 2017, 5:15 p.m.