I stride across the freshly-mown grass
of the empty field next to the library
heavy water droplets clinging
to the toes of my shoes
I breathe in the crisp
smell of the dawn sun reflecting
off dew drops brings me
back to summer camp
when lethargic teenage counsellors
had to organize overly-excited children
by playing games like molecules
I breathe in
try to feel alive try to wipe
cobwebs out of my eyes
but my bones just want to be left to rest
I’ve disturbed the dust
I breathe in choke on the thought
of my defective body
rushing towards the darkest shade
of my favourite colour
I breathe in water seeps through
to my white cotton socks
I fall to my knees my fingers
curl around fistfuls of grass
that stick to my skin
I sink into the damp dirt
I could drown here.