A scary story, eh? You want bone-chilling, do you? Spine-tingling? Pore-enlarging? Then hold still, because you won’t even HAVE any pores when I’m done!

It all began when I was leaving class. Simple, right? Wrong! Because this time, I had to walk out a door. A door — with nobody holding it open! 

I bet you’re starting to panic now, aren’t you? It says something about society these days. Nobody holds the door open for each other anymore. It's brother-against-brother, cats-eating-their-own-young, neighbors-knocking-over-each-others-bins-and-blaming-raccoons — society!?

I walk up to the door, and I pull on it. 

It doesn’t open. 

I pull harder. Still nothing. 

People start to stare. My social death is sealed. 

I pull harder, putting my whole weight into it now. “Heh, doors, right?” I say. Nothing but blank stares in return. I start to realize that it’s never gonna open, that I’ll be stuck in here forever. There’s no escape from STAT 304.

Scary, right? Here’s the scariest part: Someone else walks up to the door, and pushes on it. It opens right away.

Oops, my bad. It was a push door.