I needed time to sleep on Sleepless in Seattle before laying out my thoughts in a way that wasn’t laced with psychoanalytical frustrations towards our female lead — I didn’t prevail.
Nora Ephron’s film is often seen as the 90s rom com standard. Meg Ryan, who plays journalist Annie Reed, stars opposite Tom Hanks as widower Sam Baldwin. Many say Ryan’s and Hank’s on-screen chemistry is reason enough to watch this classic. Huh? Am I missing something? Did I mention that the actors share the screen for a grand total of four minutes?
On Christmas Eve in Seattle, Sam’s eight-year-old son Jonah calls in on the radio show Sleepless in Seattle to seek advice from possibly the most insufferable psychologist known to film, Dr. Marcia Fieldstone.
He’s calling on behalf of his depressed father because he thinks Sam needs a new wife. So, Dr. Fieldstone eggs this kid on, convincing him to put his dad on the line. Sam begins to pour his heart out on live radio while thousands of adoring American housewives listen in.
“I knew it the very first time I touched her. It was like coming home,” Sam mumbles after Dr. Fieldstone has the audacity to ask him what was so special about his wife.
Annie, who is driving on her way to meet her fiancé Walter, listens teary-eyed in her car.
And here we have ourselves a case of yuletide delulu: Annie becomes totally enthralled by Sam, going to incredible lengths to learn more about this guy who is clearly in mourning, emotionally unavailable and halfway across the country.
Annie’s only justification for her pursuit is that she is afraid of missing out on a life-altering romance while simultaneously gaslighting herself into thinking she’s committed to Walter, whose only beige flag is that he’s allergic to a lot of things, and that’s not even his own fault.
Justice for Walter. He’s the real victim in this fairytale.
So I did some digging. I learned about Obsessive Love Disorder, which is characterized by “obsessive romantic thoughts, an inability to accept rejection, and extreme jealousy or overprotectiveness,” and is often associated with obsessive compulsive disorder. Let’s run through the symptoms, shall we?
After Annie finds Sam's literal address, she flies herself to Seattle for an alleged business trip to collect material for an upcoming story, but really, she’s stalking Sam and his son.
As Annie steps out of the airport gate, Sam happens to be there and the pair share this cliché love-at-first-sight moment. Of course, neither of them know who the other person is because Sam has no idea what Annie is really doing in Seattle, and Annie knows Sam by his voice.
“This is crazy,” Annie dreamily sighs one hour and 10 minutes into the movie from her hotel bed — ummm bestie, you’re just realizing that now?
The next day, Annie spots Sam meeting up with his then-date Victoria. After he sees Annie, who’s frozen in horror in oncoming traffic, she musters up a meek “hello,” then flies back to Baltimore jealous after spending hundreds on flights and accommodations.
“The thing is, [Victoria] didn’t look like a hoe,” Annie says while tossing down a stupid big helping of red wine and dissecting the trip with her equally hopeless friend who gladly feeds into her idea that she and Sam are MFEO (made for each other, duh).
Somewhere along the line, Jonah and Annie become pen pals and agree to meet on top of the Empire State Building in New York on Valentine’s Day. She’s definitely not interested in the kid, she’s looking for Sam, but we don’t want Jonah to know that.
Jonah tries to drag Sam into his and Annie’s ridiculous charade. Sam just wants to get laid.
So Jonah poses as an abnormally small 12-year-old to hitch a flight to New York.
Now, we have to acknowledge here that Jonah is equally delusional. In an NYC taxi unaccompanied by an adult, when the driver inquires where he’s headed from the airport, he responds with the sweetest smile, bless his heart, “I’m going to meet my new mother.”
But as the doting parent that he is, Sam is in hot pursuit after his son to the Big Apple, lividly throwing himself into a taxi from arrivals.
Annie keeps Jonah waiting at their spot and does not bother to make an appearance because who’d be crazy enough to come all the way to New York for a stranger (*side eye*).
Instead, she’s out to dinner with Walter, because obviously she scheduled this stunt to be within the same week her future husband is in the city too. But Annie can’t accept the ring Walter gifts her, and she ends up sharing her twisted dilemma with him.
Walter, being the only logical party in this disaster, looks over at the Empire State from their view and says, “so he could be [there] now.”
Conveniently, the Empire State lights up in a giant red heart. “It’s a sign,” Annie breathes. “I don't deserve you.” No Annie. No, you really don’t. And just like that, our female lead drops a perfectly committed gentleman because of her seasonal delulu.
Jonah reunites with Sam, Sam (kind of) reunites with Annie.
And the film ends with Sam and Annie hand in hand, gazing into each other’s eyes (chemistry, am I right?), as we are left to ponder where this relationship is supposed to go.
You know that feeling where you run into your semester crush walking out of a classroom and exchange brief eye contact then think to yourself, this must be fate, only to be reminded that you purposefully rerouted your walk out of your lecture to pass the room you know they’ll be walking out of at exactly 3:53 p.m. every Monday and Wednesday? That’s Sleepless in Seattle. You’re not soulmates, you’re a con artist.
Next to me, my innocent roommate pointed out, “you know how we already make fun of Cinderella? Yeah this is so much worse.”
But don’t take my word for it. After all, I’m probably missing something incredibly profound and deep in all this. Frankly, I was just looking for a film to talk about that we haven’t discussed in this series yet — now I think I know why I’m the first to review this one.