Despite the media-imposed stereotype that ‘girl’ friendships are characterized by petty fights and falsity, close personal relationships are a staple of girlhood.
From BFFs and playdates to a support system to get you through high school drama, everyone needs a community they can trust and find comfort in.
So when it feels like everyone you know is telling you to join clubs in university, maybe they’re on to something. Clubs can distract you from the lonely essay writing you’ve been doing in your dorm room lately, but they can also be a way to connect to your femininity in ways you haven’t before.
The tie between clubs like UBC Knit and Sew and Her Fitness is not solely a focus on ‘feminine’ interests or targeting a specifically female audience, but also their emphasis on community and supporting one another.
When UBC Knit and Sew President and fifth-year speech sciences student Mia Cervas advertises the club, she makes sure to highlight the community you will form — along with the promise of accessible yarn, of course.
“My selling point is you can learn a new project and you get to know people in the community.”
Even if knitting and sewing isn’t for you, the club emphasizes the sense of community people find in their knitting circles — you can stop by for a chat, and maybe even pick up a few practical skills along the way. Whether you’re working on a project or not, it’s a place where members find people with similar interests.
Vice-President Lyn Scatchard, a third-year sociology major, thinks Knit and Sew is a social club.
“It’s a lot of fun to just have a reason to sit down, hang out with your friends, get away from midterms and exams and all that.”
Knitting, sewing and crocheting have traditionally been feminine chores, hobbies or even occupations. But according to Scatchard, this gendered perception not only should be disappearing — it is.
“Things like knowing how to repair a hole in your clothing, or how much effort goes into making the clothes that you wear — those are good skills for anyone to have,” they said. “We do have a lot of … women as members, but there’s also a good [number] of Queer people … or even just men who want to explore [what] they’ve never been introduced to.”
Though many boys were not taught these skills when they were younger, that doesn’t stop interest from forming as they grow older. For men, knitting and sewing typically aren’t presented as activities they can pursue, Scatchard said, “so when they get to university, they’re experiencing all these new things in life, and they’re like, ‘Maybe I’ll pick up knitting. Maybe I’ll learn to crochet.’”
Cervas and Scatchard see people of all gender identities exploring their femininity through the club, noting how some members take up crochet to create cool outfits for their DJing gigs.
“That’s a way that they are engaging with a feminine type of craft, but also … it’s just another aspect of something that they do,” Cervas said.
While UBC Knit and Sew is crossing boundaries in defining who can engage with historically feminine practices, Her Fitness is striving to celebrate femininity in a different way — by creating space specifically for women in the gym, which is typically a male-dominated industry. Members work with execs to develop a personalized fitness routine and learn how to navigate the gym in a low-stress, beginner-friendly environment.
The idea for the club grew out of feelings of frustration shared by friends Hamrah Riyaz and Amreen Aulakh, who had both experienced obstacles in their fitness journeys — obstacles Riyaz knew were “not the same at all for men.”
“Fitness should be accessible to anyone, and especially in today’s society … there are a lot [more] fitness concepts marketed more towards women,” Riyaz said.
Despite positive changes in the fitness community, it’s still difficult for women to break into something they’ve historically felt excluded from.
“Prior to going, I was on YouTube all the time, perfecting my form and watching so many videos of every machine in the gym just so I would feel confident enough to step in,” Riyaz said.
“I really had to come out of my shell and just force myself to be so uncomfortable being there and being scared about not knowing what to do, or if people are judging me. You just feel very vulnerable.”
From this feeling of vulnerability came a desire to make this experience easier for other women by building up their confidence and eliminating variables that make an already intimidating thing even harder.
“We really wanted to break down those barriers,” Riyaz said, describing how making events financially feasible to attend was a priority. “We don’t want cost to be a reason why women aren’t able to access these resources.”
Going into this academic year, Riyaz and Aulakh hope to focus even more on nutrition and building healthy routines — and maybe even a foray into teaching weightlifting and powerlifting, by way of collaborating with other clubs — while maintaining the incredible support and community they developed last year.
“If we were able to pull this off… it would be such a rewarding experience. I think it’s just so important because I don’t think there’s another club that does the same thing we do.”
At the foundation of Her Fitness is girls encouraging other girls — to start something they will enjoy, to find the confidence to do something new, to make friends and take on leadership positions.
And at the base of femininity is a girl being there for another girl, or a willingness to engage with practices that are tied to experiences of womanhood.
So join a girls’ club. Because a girls’ club is a club that supports, nurtures and loves. A girls’ club is not a club full of girls (though it can be) but any club that makes you feel less alone.
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