When university students talk about their sex lives, they don’t usually want to talk about performance issues.
Performance issues fall under the umbrella of sexual dysfunction, a broad term used by sexual health experts to describe sexual issues that cause frustration or stress. Some of the most common forms of sexual dysfunction include pain during sex and erectile dysfunction.
Sexual dysfunction is not uncommon in young adults. Thirty-one per cent of females and nine per cent of males aged 15–24 reported that they had experienced at least one form of sexual dysfunction that they felt hindered their sexuality, according to a 2016 BMC Public Health article.
Whether it’s caused by stress, self-esteem issues or past negative experiences, sexual dysfunction can play a serious role in relationships and people’s sexual identities.
“The sexual performance issues … compound [and] you start to feel kind of guilty about it,” said Mark, a second-year arts student whose name has been changed to protect his privacy.
“You’re like ‘What am I doing wrong? I can’t satisfy my partner, I’m not getting anything out of this, he’s not getting anything out of this, why am I even doing this?’”
Both physical and psychological factors can increase the risk of experiencing sexual dysfunction. Research has shown that past trauma can be a particularly strong predictor of sexual dysfunction in women.
“[Traumatic experiences] create an underlying negative reaction to [sex], which unfortunately, can generalize so that even their partners who they have a caring, loving relationship with, they’re not able to engage in sexual activity,” said Dr. Jan Cioe, an associate professor in psychology at UBC Okanagan.
A sexual health expert or medical professional can create treatment plans that may include sex therapy, sexual education, psychotherapy, medication or mechanical aids (such as dilators or sex toys).
“I think I’ve been able to move past [sexual dysfunction] solely because of therapy and the tools that that therapy gave me and ending relationships with the people who’ve done those things to me,” said Britney, a second-year kinesiology student who experienced sexual dysfunction following a sexual assault. Britney’s name has been changed to protect her privacy.
To address sexual dysfunction, one of the first steps is talking to your partner(s), Cioe said.
“Sexuality when functioning properly is grounded in a clear and honest communication process, where you’re willing to tell your partner this is working, this is not working, do this, but don’t do that,” said Cioe.
The stigma around sexual dysfunction can make the process of coming to terms with it more difficult.
“I think it comes to two things, that we’re afraid to be vulnerable, and that in large part, the way that sex is treated in some media, especially in pornography,” said Mark.
Current research shows that only roughly one quarter of adults will seek treatment for sexual dysfunction symptoms due to fear of judgement from others, or from fear of damaging their self-esteem.
Breaking the stigma can start by deconstructing our expectations for sex, and focusing on consent, communication and openness.
“I feel like if everyone kind of just came together and was like, ‘Hey, this is normal, this is natural. Maybe there are times when we’re too anxious to get a boner, or we’re too anxious to get wet down there,’” said Britney. “I feel like it’s just normal and it gets stigmatized a lot of times when it shouldn’t be.”
This article is from Reclamation, The Ubyssey's 2023 sex and relationships issue. Read more personal essays and student stories from Reclamation here, and sexual health and education articles here.