Dear Iman,
I realized that I don’t want to live with my roommates next year. I want to experience living alone before I graduate but I don't want to hurt their feelings. What should I do?
Roommates make the world go ‘round. Whether that’s in your first-year dorm in Vanier or in a house off 16th avenue with seven of your closest friends in your second year, having roommates is something that almost everyone has to deal with at least once.
Having roommates isn’t all that bad, and it seems as though you like your roommates. But no matter how much you like them, living alone — whether that be on or off-campus — is a nice stepping stone to ‘adult-ing’ (I’m not a millennial, I promise).
As much as you may want to spare your roommates' feelings, you do have to tell them eventually, and before the time to renew the lease comes. If you leave, they might want to find new roommates or even move to a different apartment, but they can’t do that if you don’t tell them you're leaving well in advance. It’ll also put your mind at ease, because you won’t have to hide your apartment hunting by getting your Zumper emails sent to a burner email.
It’s easy to shoot them a text and turn off your phone, praying you won’t see your roommates in the kitchen. But is it worth it? No!
Being straight-up and honest, though it may suck, will ensure your roommates feel okay when you decide to move out. They’ll be prepared so they aren’t scrambling to find someone to take your place super last minute. Sure, you might be able to save face and sneakily move out, but if you want to keep your relationships with your roommates and not be a complete asshole, you should tell them you’re leaving.
Moving away from something that you’re used to, like having roommates, will be difficult, but by preparing and communicating with your roomies, you’ll maintain that support system long after you move out.
You’re doing great. Keep it up!
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