UBC’s 'upgrade' to Workday shockingly sparks negative backlash

This article is part of The Ubyssey's humour section. Send pitches to humour@ubyssey.ca.

Finally, UBC has found a solution to all the problems we had with the good old SSC.

Planning both terms at once is a feature that makes me projectile vomit just thinking about it. One should only think about the stress of the school year four months at a time, right? Also, the popup timetable was just blocking the view of the rest of the site. Glad they axed it!

Four of twenty-three students we polled agreed that “the Workday interface is highly intuitive and the cost-performance ratio just can’t be beat.” And only three of them admitted to being bribed by the university. Take that, SSC!

However, the reception for Workday hasn’t only been sunshine and roses. We interviewed Keye Bohred, an undergraduate computer science student, for their thoughts on the new program.

“I could have coded that for three California rolls and 12 coffees, maybe 7 if I slept the night before," Bohred said.

Their friends mumbled in agreement as they sifted through UBC’s Workday guides and banged their heads on their desks.

Most Integrated Service Centre staff members declined to give comment, but one manager was spotted through a third floor window texting his wife. “If we set up an undergrad team and gave them the Work Learn opportunity so easily, how would these kids ever learn to pull themselves up by the bootstraps?” That’s all the justification we need, folks.

We found a group of professors in Buchanan Tower elevator and asked for their statements. When they declined, we repeatedly pushed the close door button to trap them inside. After 10 minutes, one admitted, “Sometimes after a few rowdy drinks at Koerner’s, we like to play ‘Bug or Feature?’ It’s just as hard as you think it is.”

Well, I’d bet money it’s not hard at all. Workday’s genius, enigmatic credit-counting system has even boosted some of my friends up a year!

For the plebeians who have found themselves still unable to understand Workday’s user-friendly controls even after the whole month UBC has given us to familiarize ourselves, look further than UBC’s official guides to using it. They’re as insightful as they are numerous — but if you’re still not getting it, it could be because these guides lack the certain je ne sais quoi of the friendly neighborhood Reddit discussion board. Only a quick Google search away, the various UBC Workday posts feature helpful advice and ever-growing all-caps rant threads.

After exchanging tips, user grrrrrrworkday lightheartedly described the new program as “a huge waste of money” and “the worst downgrade UBC could have had, besides maybe replacing all the toilet bowls on campus with colanders.” Many people agreed, demonstrating how Workday unites and strengthens our community.

And if you’re still having trouble, don’t worry folks; you have the rest of your academic lives to acclimate to the software. Or, at least, until September.