Summer school, the universe's most annoying oxymoron. You look out the window and instantly regret your decision to enroll in boring classes while every one of your friends is vacationing in the Swiss Alps. You’re being roasted alive by the summer heat amidst deadlines, discussion posts and deciphering difficult differential equations. The blog can't give you your summer back, but we can at least offer you a few films to help you stay motivated to study. Here are our top movies to inspire you to get those A’s.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)
Ferris Bueller, the patron saint of school-skipping. Who needs school when you can orchestrate a citywide parade, crown yourself the Sausage King of Chicago and cruise the city in a “borrowed” Ferrari?
But who really needs the practical life experience of leading a public spectacle, charming a restaurant full of skeptical patrons or testing the limits of a classic luxury vehicle? Instead, you can stay in school this summer and enjoy the visceral thrill of surviving group projects with less-than-helpful peers and start writing your English paper on that book you never read, because that’s way more fun.
Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)
Why ponder electron configurations and whatever the nucleus of the cell is doing when you can ride the waves and taste freedom, like Jeff Spicoli in Fast Times at Ridgemont High? Jeff trades lectures and homework for the allure of the sea, embracing a surfer's life and waxing poetic like a 14 year-old on Reddit. That’s more depth than any textbook can offer. Remember the time when he even managed to order a pizza right into the classroom, creating a moment more memorable than any chemistry experiment ever? But sure, the adrenaline rush of meticulously sourcing citations for your midterm paper due tonight is just as fun.
She's The Man (2006)
While her twin brother Sebastian chooses to skip school to gallivant around the streets of London with his band, Viola takes a different route. She assumes her brother’s identity, fearlessly leading the boy’s soccer team and shattering gender stereotypes while her brother is busy living the rockstar life. But who in their right mind would trade three papers and a final worth 50 per cent of your grade for the monotonous charade that is pretending to be your own brother? Not to mention having his/your roommate fall head over heels for you, simultaneously becoming a soccer sensation while finding the time for a grand debut as a debutant. It's clear that staying inside and doing your homework is more rewarding.
The Social Network (2010)
So what if Mark Zuckerberg kissed Harvard goodbye and soared into the billionaire stratosphere? Who needs the burden of billions of dollars and newfound fame (or infamy) when you have the exhilarating pressure of eight discussion posts and a paper to finish (start) before midnight? Let's not overlook the undeniable charm of university life with its constant construction, unreliable wifi and endless assignments. 30 per cent of billionaires don’t have a bachelor's degree. Maybe they're onto something. But sure, you keep waking up early for those 8 a.m.’s. Who knows, with that diploma you might be the next Zucc AND have a piece of paper that says you’re smart.
New York Minute (2004)
In New York Minute the Olsen twins skip school for a wild chase across the city, dodging truant officers, saving a music video and delivering speeches that would stun any debate team. Too bad you’re stuck in your AC-less dorm wasting hours on that calculus problem. Makes you wish for such an adventure, doesn't it? But remember, nothing matches the thrill and fulfillment of integral calculus. An adventure in New York could never compare to academic enlightenment, whatever that means.
As you fantasize about surfing waves and leading citywide parades, remember: There's no better thrill than giving up a day at the beach to learn about particles in boxes — I’m sure that will be useful in real life, someday, maybe.
As you buckle down for another thrilling summer term, let these movies inspire you to stay motivated to study. After all, summer school is your first class ticket to a summer of nostalgia — for the time you had a social life.
Blog is The Ubyssey’s humour section. Don't take us too seriously.