The Carnal Issue//

A diary of having sex while living with your parents

August 19

Tonight we had our second date and it went really well. We made out at the bus stop and he choked me very quietly in the cab ride home.

September 2

Tonight we had sex for the first time in the cramped backseat of his car on the side of the road. Vehicles kept driving past us and every time I saw the headlights shine through the back window, I would stop and stare until they passed. I wish we had a bed to use instead of a car, but I guess this is my life now.

September 20

We had car sex again.

November 4

At least we know when family members are going to be away some days. We can occasionally experience the beauty of a memory-foam mattress and anxiously look out the window whenever we hear anything remotely similar to the sound of a mini-van door.

November 10

More side-of-the-road car sex.

February 13

We’d been having sex in a car for far too long, so we went to campus on a Saturday and had sex in a bathroom. It was disgusting and when we left, there was a janitor in the hallway who looked at us and smiled.

April 5

It’s been car sex only, ever since the bathroom incident.

June 28

We decided to try bathrooms again and had sex in a park stall. It was as disgusting as one might think: dirt and water all over the floor, everything was made of metal and I didn’t feel comfortable touching anything. We had to do it standing up and I was on the verge of falling over the whole time. I think this counts as a thigh exercise. When we left the bathroom, there were families outside with children.

August 20

We’ve been having car sex ever since the second bathroom incident.

September 2

I moved into my first place on my own. Finally, some privacy.