“I was going to just retire and wanted to do things myself. And then I got accepted into university … I can now conduct an orchestra and not just play the piano. I can edit a video myself and not just shoot one.”

The Things They Did Not Tell Her

My brother was born in 1994. My dad decided to name him ‘智铭’ (Zhiming), meaning ‘knowledge engraved.’ Five years later they had me, their youngest daughter. They named me ‘智文’ (Zhiwen), meaning ‘knowledge in literature.’ My dad sometimes used to accidentally call me by my brother’s name. He also stumbled with English pronouns, mixing up the ‘he’s and ‘her’s.

Aiken Lao is a third-year commerce student and the Design Editor of The Ubyssey. She is powered by dad jokes, donuts and Red Bull and will take bribes. Fun fact: this issue is printed with the blood and tears of Aiken and several other editors.

Kate Colenbrander is the current video editor at The Ubyssey and the woman of your dreams. If you believe you are her fiancé please e-mail videos@ubyssey.ca. If you have concerns about your vagina please call a doctor.

Arthur Lockwood is a former UBC flunk-out who is now desperately cramming a geography major into what will hopefully be his last year of schooling of any kind. To the pretty girl who came by the pizza place...

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