Picture this: You’re in someone’s bed, amidst the throes of passion, then suddenly something catches your eye. Or maybe your partner for the night is just really bad at what they’re doing and you need a distraction, any distraction, so your eyes wander around the room, searching for relief. Either way, we’ve compiled a list of the best posters to read mid-coitus.
The Ubyssey’s 101 things to do at UBC
Starting with a classic staple in dorm rooms. See how many things they’ve checked off, and compare that to how many you’ve done. Savour the momentary ego boost you get from knowing you’ve got them beat. Then remember that the list is published by The Ubyssey, so it’s not exactly that much of an accomplishment.
Pulp Fiction
Do the kids these days still like Pulp Fiction? Is that a thing? Fight Club anyone? Just trying to appeal to the masses here.
Fish poster from Beaty
Think about fish. The latin names. Did you know the channel catfish can weigh up to 25kgs?? 1.25 meters. 1.2t METERS. That’s like a small human.
Frank Ocean
The man the myth the legend. The blonde poster. Frank Ocean’s sexy, sexy bald head.
Nietzsche poster
Though, if at any point in conversation they say “I’m just playing devil’s advocate,” you have to leave.
Eat, Pray, Love
Laugh at the poster because you think it’s ironic, then after looking around at the rest of their decor, realize with horror that your lover unironically put up an Eat, Pray, Love poster.
Not a poster but so many people have stolen street signs/construction site signs???
The words DANGER and STOP glare ominously at you under the cheap fluorescent lights. It’s probably a sign from the universe.
Alternatively, If their walls are completely blank, consider asking yourself this. Why are you hooking up with such a boring person? Retrace all the mistakes you’ve made in your life that led you to this moment. Who are you? What are you even doing here?