AMS Elections are upon us and picking the right person who will fight for what you believe in is hard. After listening to debate records and reading up on candidates’ platforms, you might still be left wondering who you want representing you on the Senate.
Well, lucky for you, I put in the hard work and got my hands dirty to provide you with all the gritty deets you need to make your pick.
Responses were edited for brevity and clarity.
Romina Hajizadeh
What is your go-to coffee order?
Oh my gosh, that’s a hard question ... I’m mostly an iced matcha girly! I like to try my chances with an iced matcha from Blue Chip. But sometimes that’s not the slay, [so] I go back to my roots in Maple Ridge and get a skinny cinnamon dolce iced latte from Starbucks.
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
Easily kill the Life Building — no shade — ... it’s her time to go. I would F-IKB, as song as we're married, but [it] would have to buy me dinner first, and I’d marry the Nest. A lot of people get married in the Nest ... Maybe I can divorce [it] later and then marry IKB.
What is your favourite bus line?
There’s something so chef’s kiss about getting the 44 at 8:30 in the morning from Waterfront Station and taking it to UBC. However, the 44 in the afternoon from UBC ... I cry everytime.
Do you think cereal is a soup?
Because I eat it dry often, I wouldn’t say so. I feel like soup needs to be something that's like cooked, you know? ... You know if people think of the soup I'm not gonna discriminate. And I'm not gonna start a fight. But I kind of disagree.
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
Maybe like two ... If there were two I’d kind of get freaked out.
Kareem Hassib
What is your go-to coffee order?
Honestly, I’m not a huge fan of coffee, I usually drink tea ... When I do have coffee, I have it with two sugars and two oat milk because I'm vegan so I don't drink milk ... I really like fruity teas. I love boba.
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
I’d fuck IKB because it’s a really old building, some parts are kind of nasty ... it’s not that bad. I’d marry the Nest — it’s just a really nice building, and kill the Life Building. It's alright.
What is your favourite bus line?
I’m a transit man, I love public transit, so this is actually a very important question ... The 99 B[-Line] has its problems ... fun fact, it’s the most used bus line in all of North America.
Do you think cereal is a soup?
See, I don’t know what the definition of soup is ... does soup have to be hot like can soups be cold?
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
Honestly, I feel like I assume the best in people so I’d probably see way too many before suspecting anything ... Probably like eight or nine.
Mathew Ho
Due to a time crunch because life happens and being a student is hard, our writer couldn't interview Mathew Ho, so he sent us statement instead.
What is your go-to coffee order?
Drip coffee but double doubled.
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
Fuck IKB, marry the Nest, and kill the Life Building.
What is your favourite bus line?
480. It no longer exists :(
Do you think cereal is a soup?
No comment. Only a Sith deals in absolutes.
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
Three, because it’s a crowd. One if it’s just Birb.
Ayesha Irfan
Due to a time crunch because it's midterm season and the vibes are not vibing, our writer couldn't interview Ayesha Irfan, so she sent us statement instead.
What is your go-to coffee order?
Black coffee with a splash of oat milk.
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
Kill the Life Building, it gives me a headache. Marry IKB – god bless the the Ridington room and fuck the Nest.
What is your favourite bus line?
The 69.
Do you think cereal is a soup?
NOPE. The argument made is that milk is favored, therefore it’s soup, but it’s not soup, it’s flavored milk… would you call strawberry milk soup? No. Or chunky melted ice cream soup. No you wouldn't.
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
None, seagulls aren’t real.
Kamil Kanji
What is your go-to coffee order?
I’m not a coffee drinker so my go-to order is a steeped tea double double from Tim Hortons.
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
Fuck the Life Building, and kill IKB.
What is your favourite bus line?
My favourite is the 99 ... [because] if I’m too lazy to walk, I can take the 99 and get [to my house] in a minute.
Do you think cereal is a soup?
No cereal can't be a soup. Cereal is a soup ... [so is] chicken noodle soup, there’s no correlation.
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
That’s trippy as fuck! ... I live on the sixth floor of this building where seagulls are nested all the time, so probably a couple dozen because I would just assume my roommate left our balcony door open. ... I’m also kind of lazy so I wouldn’t really care enough. You know?
Davey Li
Due to a time crunch because time was crunching, our writer couldn't interview Davey Li, so he sent us statement instead.
What is your go-to coffee order?
An americano!
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
Fuck the Life Building, marry the Nest and kill IKB – would’ve married IKB if the washrooms weren’t stank bro.
What is your favorite bus line?
236.
Do you think cereal is a soup?
Good soup.
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
At least two, but it never hurts to have seagull friends :))
Sultana Razia
What is your go-to coffee order?
French Vanilla ... Tim’s for the win!
FMK: The Nest, the Life Building, IKB?
For the Nest, I'm gonna kill it because I don't go there much ... I want to marry IKB [because it's] studious, [it has] that dark academia vibe.
What is your favorite bus line?
My favorite bus line is the 84 because it’s an express ... I like fast-moving buses.
Do you think cereal is a soup?
Why would it be a soup? You can have cereal without milk? How would that be a soup?
How many seagulls would you have to find in your house before you’d start to suspect someone was putting them there?
I mean, seagulls are huge ... so one would be enough.
From the Cult is The Ubyssey’s unofficial humour AMS Election coverage. For official elections coverage, visit the news section.