Elita Menezes

I rolled a number for each sign and interpreted the numbers to keep myself from falling asleep on the R4.

She knew — nay, she felt it in her soul, her bones, the dust mites in her squeaky Walter Gage mattress — she deserved someone positively, truly exceptional.

When no one more qualified will do it for you, you do it yourself.

Astrology is an enigma to me, but if NASA can do it, so can I.

It's not you, it's me.

Nine lecture recordings, eleven hours, one Brita full to the brim with water.

Here’s a list of things you can do to take your mind off finals — by putting it on something worse instead.

As much as the AMS Finance Committee does, and idk they probably do a lot I guess, they’ve completely ignored a massive issue with the AMS’s budget and how it affects student life.

Your worst nightmare has come true: It’s a snow day, and classes are canceled.

If you’ve been friends with me within the past two years, you’ll know that I have oddly strong opinions about the Alvin and the Chipmunks movies.

Am I graduating? Oh, God no — this is my first year. I just don’t feel like doing this seven more times.

I don’t believe in throwing away time for trivial matters like sleep, school or employment. Hopefully, you’ll be inspired by my actions to make more out of your time off from classes as well.

I was a statue, haunted by the phantom of my former self, metal handle tight between my fingers as I grimaced at the students who passed.

The library would be packed on any other night. This was finally my chance to get a good spot.

The fifth-year commerce student and son of third-generation oil baron Brichael Dawgman wakes up at 4:01 a.m. every day, because he knows 401k is some sort of financial term.