UBC came to the conclusion that the way to increase student morale was simple: host a campus-wide talent show inspired by everyone's glory years — elementary school!
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“The first time someone saw me, they screamed … they called me an ‘abominable snowman.’ It really hurt.”
Students will be forced to opt into the UBC Battle Pass as a part of their student fees, effective at the start of the new term, Jan. 5, 2026.
This holiday season, UBC has generously decided to give students and faculty the biggest gift of all — learning — which is why all finals will be scheduled on Dec. 25, effective immediately.
His knowledge transcends the boundaries of what could conceivably be known. Or, at least, his voice makes you consider smacking him with a chair.
UBC is reportedly already “halfway to achieving Disneyland status” based on the afternoon line-up for Subway in the Life Building alone.
I’m never hovering my eyes over any form of text ever again. It’s time to focus on myself.
It has been nearly one year since we have exPEArienced the closest thing to world (or at least campus) PEAce that has ever transPEAred.
Fact one: the first piss the pisser posted was at the UBC Engineering Cairn. This immediately eliminates all the engineering students as potential suspects, since they all took a blood oath in first-year Jump Start where they swore their allegiance to the E.
All factors point to UBC facing a full-blown boogie epidemic.
I asked if I could interview him for The Ubyssey on his sickening inability to pick up the pace. He turned to me and lifted one side of his headphones. “The Ubussy?”
If you’re too busy studying to come up with your plans for the spookiest night of year, don’t fret, your local ghoul’s got you covered.
I have compiled a comprehensive list to tell you exactly which costumes will lead to some much-needed cross-major mingling this Halloween.
You know what the scariest part about October is? It’s not Michael Myers or Ghost Face showing up on your doorstep — it’s running into your failed situationship on campus.
If you’ve been exposed to a virus this midterm season, it’s frat flu, and it’s too late for you. Good luck.
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