Humour • December 15, 2023
Snow lands on top on The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes
The greed-filled, gripping story of President Coriolanus Snow had everyone sitting at the edge of their seats with crossed legs and watering mouths in anticipation.
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Humour • December 11, 2023
The Ubyssey’s foolproof study guide (no whimsy, we promise)
Pattern your week after this step-by-step walkthrough, and the world will be your study oyster! Wet and clammy.
Humour • December 5, 2023
UBCee ya!
Am I graduating? Oh, God no — this is my first year. I just don’t feel like doing this seven more times.
Humour • December 5, 2023
Gaslighting your prof into canceling your exam
After you complete these six easy steps, your professor is sure to cancel your exam and you will become a hero amongst your classmates.
Humour • December 1, 2023
Things at UBC that would send a Victorian child into a coma
You believe the frail, wide-eyed, cold dust covered little lad inside the Martha Piper fountain is another pre-finals induced hallucination. But still, you approach it slowly, about to offer your puffer to the poor soaking and freezing thing.
Humour • November 29, 2023
How to recreate the Eras tour on campus
While UBC may make you want to scream for other reasons, you can still have a taste of the best day of a Swiftie’s life while on campus with these steps.
Humour • November 27, 2023
One hundo per cent of BoG survey respondents supported tuition increase
The Ubyssey obtained a redacted copy of a Board of Governors (BoG) survey which asked respondents whether they support a tuition increase. Every single one of them said yes.
Humour • November 24, 2023
I ate the Buchanan A Block Stir it Up mac 'n cheese every day for three weeks — this is my story
I’m brave. I’m bold. I’m a survivor — nay — a trooper — no — a warrior. And I did it all for you. This is my story, this is my truth, this is my tale. One shot, …
Humour • November 21, 2023
I solved world hunger over reading break — what did you do?
I don’t believe in throwing away time for trivial matters like sleep, school or employment. Hopefully, you’ll be inspired by my actions to make more out of your time off from classes as well.
Humour • November 20, 2023
UBC Speedrunners leapfrog the competition in cross-campus dash
“Ironically enough, campus speedrunning is a marathon, not a sprint,” said Discord user SweatWeasel98 in a 360p video call on ubcsecure that cut out seconds later.
Humour • November 17, 2023
Thunderbirds game levels Vancouver
Unfortunately, the Ubyssey writer assigned to cover this (Landen) was otherwise occupied bombing their midterm, and was unable to see the game proper.
Humour • November 10, 2023
Buying Benoit-Antoine Bacon's approval
The humour section has previously torn down UBC presidents (for shame), but you have a breakfast-themed name, so we would never do that to you.
Humour • November 3, 2023
Holding death's door
I was a statue, haunted by the phantom of my former self, metal handle tight between my fingers as I grimaced at the students who passed.
Humour • November 2, 2023
The haunting of IKB
The library would be packed on any other night. This was finally my chance to get a good spot.
Humour • November 2, 2023
Chopped
Suddenly, as if the universe had heard me, a MasterChef audition invite arrived in my inbox.
Humour • November 2, 2023
Wet coat bus guy
I thought he was mere folklore — a boogeyman, a myth that goes bump(?) in the night.
Humour • October 31, 2023
TupperSCARE
To the fridge I head, seeking the only comfort this pale life offers me.