Raunchy Readership,

Too Sexy here with another sex and relationship advice column. We know y’all are running around, stressed about exams and other concerns. In such trying times, it can be easy to put your erotic pursuits on the back burner. That being said, we’d like to remind you that sex (or even just lovely company) can greatly reduce stress and really help you go into exams with a cool, level head. So, instead of growing crotch cobwebs, follow thousands of students before you in the proud, proud tradition of stress-solving sex.

That being said, although sex and academics can occasionally pair well together (ie. exam-orgies, “anatomy homework,” schoolgirls), there are occasions when the mixture of the two can cause turbulence. Read on, friends. A tale of forbidden love awaits:
 
It’s cliché, but I have a crush on my much older professor. I obviously won’t go for it while he’s still my teacher, but would it be so wrong to ask him out after the term is over? I’m not in his department or anything, and I feel the sexual tension is palpable—though he’s not acting inappropriately at all. But there is much smouldering eye contact and occasionally he’ll blush when I am talking to him.

Is this even within policy at UBC?

—Hot for Teacher

Hi Hot for Teacher,

After a quick comb through the UBC website, we at Too Sexy can’t find anything on the books at UBC that specifically prohibits this particular kind of prof-student relationship. The policies on academic and non-academic misconduct can be found at students.ubc.ca/calendar/index.cfm?tree=3,54,0,0, but have nothing especially illuminating to say. Basically, unless you intend to use your torrid, ecstatic fling to disrupt lectures and exams, vandalize university property, commit a hate crime, or physically or emotionally assault someone, you’re in the clear. 

In fact, elsewhere in university policy it is stated that “The University authorities do not assume responsibilities for others that naturally rest with adults themselves. This being so, the University relies on the good sense and on the home training of students for the preservation of good moral standards and for appropriate modes of behaviour and dress.”

You’re probably not shocked to hear the university denying responsibility for something, but you may be tickled that they put the responsibility and the agency with you. That’s a pretty clear message to listen to your own judgment, Hot for Teacher. So, regardless of whether your conscience is an anthropomorphic cricket or an abstract feeling of self-created shame, we say listen to it. Given a chance, it may just guide you to Mr Sounds-So-Wrong-But-Feels-So-Right.

With that in mind, there are some other considerations to be aware of. For instance, is your prof married? While we at Too Sexy are fans of openness in relationships and believe that non-exclusive marriages can work, this only holds true as long as all parties involved are apprised of, and okay with, the situation. If this isn’t the case, Hot for Teacher, you may be leading him to do something he’ll regret, and that’s no fun for anyone. The fact is, attraction can and often does exist amorally. Your prof could be monogamously married, attracted to you, and resentful of that attraction, all at the same time. So to avoid having this blow up in your face, as well as for his sake, we recommend you establish the lay of the land before trying anything.

Similarly, assess your own situation. What do you want from this interaction? Are you aiming for a one-off, or something more ongoing? Will you be content with a simple fling, or will you become awkwardly attached and want more? These are important questions when navigating tricky territory.

 All in all, it’s probably better to try and look past the weird dynamic you find yourself in, with its accompanying social mores, and observe the situation in a more objective light. If he was just another older guy, do you think this would work? Remember that people at different stages in life can often want different things in relationships, so make sure everyone is on the same page before moving forward.

Anyway, that’s all for this week, lovelies. If you’ve got a question that’s Too Sexy to ask anyone else, send it to us at toosexy@ubyssey.ca or use our anonymous web form at ubyssey.ca/ideas. Either way, pick up our next issue for a multi-letter orgy of sex and relationship advice.