Let’s talk about swine flu. Everybody else is talking about it. So much so, in fact, that one would be tempted to think it was the next bubonic plague.

Even UBC, like most universities, has jumped on the bandwagon. As a result, students can now declare their absences, and their subsequent returns, on the SSC website. They added a whole new function, and a ready set excuse to miss class, all for H1N1.

But how bad is it? Really? Well, let’s take a look at the numbers.

Unfortunately, pertaining to UBC specifically, the numbers are sketchy and unreliable at best. UBC Student Health Services’s information regarding the amount of students with swine flu is based on the number of students who clicked “sick” on the SSC website. Consequently, the number is grossly inaccurate and completely inflated.

Class-cutters campus-wide are rejoicing for what might be the easiest get-out-of-jail-free card they’ve ever seen. So take advantage of it while you can, fellow students. We wouldn’t blame you, what with the rain and all. And besides, that warlock isn’t going to level itself to 80.

World of Warcraft aside, here’s what you need to be worry—or not worry—about. The real numbers regarding H1N1: Since April 2009, the BC Centre for Disease Control has confirmed 601 severe H1N1 cases in this province. And since November 3, there have been 202 new severe cases, and eight new deaths.

It’s that last part that scares us. Most of us would rather not die. Well, so far there have been 23 laboratory-confirmed H1N1 cases in BC that have resulted in death. But in 22 of those cases, there were confirmed underlying medical conditions.

So basically there has been one death in BC that didn’t result from an underlying medical condition. Well, as far as they could tell. Maybe there was an underlying condition. Some of us have watched enough House M.D. to realize that doctors miss things. Unless they’re Gregory House.

Either way, it’s not a very frightening number, especially when you consider the amount of people that die from all sorts of ailments every month. And for those of you who have these high-risk medical conditions, many of which, like asthma and diabetes, are quite common, you’re first in line to get your flu shot. Perhaps you’ve already gotten it. For you, it’s probably a good idea.

But for the majority, is it really worth the fuss?

According to a recent Vancouver Sun article, as many as 117 people die in BC each year as a result of car crashes that occur because of driver distractions—namely, cell phones. So why isn’t UBC jamming this statistic down our throats?

It must be that the public is largely misinformed. This car crash statistic, chosen arbitrarily as a counterpoint, is just one in a long list of scary statistics. Statistics that reveal problems that are far more worrisome and urgent than swine flu. Obesity, strokes, mental illnesses and plenty of other health conditions should be of more concern. Just because they’re ever-present doesn’t mean they’re less important.

But too many people continue to blow this epidemic out of proportion. We’ve heard many times the story of the 13-year-old Ontarian, who was allegedly perfectly healthy, dying only 48 hours after contracting H1N1. It’s a shocking and upsetting story. But it’s also exceptional. A tragic story about one boy is not a counter argument to statistics that show H1N1 to be a very unlikely killer.

Despite this, one can find an overabundance of Facebook groups—and hyperbolic news reports—that suggest the contrary. The amount of bad information floating around regarding swine flu might just be scarier and more contagious than the flu itself. One group even claimed, non-ironically, that “H1N1 is worse than AIDS.”

Seriously, guys: Take your Kit Kat bar and give us a freakin’ break.