With the gluttonous appetite of social networks desperate for the next mockathon, the last thing you want is to be caught by a vocal little bird and have a permanent record in the massive book of faces gnawing its way through the blogosphere. Don’t be a victim of the twatterpics and thumbs ups because you couldn’t pull a decent Halloween costume together. It is The Ubyssey’s privilege, nay, duty, to provide Halloween costume guidelines for the unwary.

Do show off a physical feature you consider an asset. Whether it’s arms, legs, midriff, or ear, just go for it.

Do not take this as a carte blanche to push the limits of good taste by dashing off to couple a thong with see-through pants. A pant-less cartoon character or a rogue multi-function robot, you are not.

Do attempt your best interpretation of a character. If your choice is somewhat eccentric, then it makes the story that much more rich in its telling.

Do not attempt your best impression of a well-known character on a popular TV series. It’s dicey and greatly depends on which character you choose. Seeing two electric yellow rodents hissing at each other is scary, but on the other hand, seeing two brilliantly sardonic doctors snarling at each other is hot.

Do take care with period style costumes. Be on the lookout for anachronistic items to refute claims of your “ignorance” from fervent historical era connoisseurs.

Do not mix bright blue, pink and orange in whatever costume you wear. Some trends never revive. Let neon stay on the periodic table where it belongs.

Do make your costume easy to socially interact with, because nothing says “long time, no see” like a sharp cardboard box corner to the face.

Do not anthropomorphize animals. Really, it was cute in the third grade with the cat ears, paws, leopard print gloves, legwarmers and tail. Is this the pinnacle for Halloween costumes for all the ladies out there? No. But for men?  Absolutely.

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